I am uniquely qualified to provide a wrap-up of the bowl games after taking time off from work to be with my wife, who had knee-replacement surgery.
We watched a lot of football together, and it went so well she only yelled at me once or twice. Maybe five times. OK, but less than 10 times for sure.
ALL TALK, ALL THE TIME
I’ll repeat here what I asked on Twitter days ago.
Where in the small print of the ESPN/Bowl Game contracts does it say the broadcast team has to comment on EVERY SINGLE PLAY? Yak, yak, yak, blah, blah, blah, wonk, wonk, wonk.
It’s got to be something new from the program directors because I don’t remember commentary being nonstop in previous years. And please, spare us the goofy personal stories and canned debates, especially during the middle of the action.
If someone in 2017 invents a gadget that allows the TV viewer to silence the commentators but keep the crowd noise, I’m buying.
BLAME GAME
A man stopped me in the grocery story after the Belk Bowl and suggested during our conversion that the Arkansas media was complicit in raising the hopes of Razorback football fans this season.
“False advertising,” he said.
Perhaps, but I can’t say for sure because I don’t cover Arkansas athletics on a regular basis. So, I don’t know all of those people. But any blame must be directed at Bret Bielema, who set the standard high from the outset when he said he wanted to give Arkansas fans something they hadn’t had — an SEC championship.
Hasn’t happened. Not even close.
The media should always view the teams they cover with a critical eye, but the job is harder now because reporters are basically cut off from seeing daily practices to gauge progress for themselves. Even Bielema knows it’s time to put up or shut up following the awful finish to the 2016 season.
“I’ve always said year five, that next year’s season is kind of the defining moment of what you’ve been doing and what you’re trying to get to,” said Bielema, who is 25-26 overall at Arkansas, including 10-22 in the SEC. “That’s all on my shoulders.”
Agreed.
NOT SO MAGNIFICENT
The SEC West is generally considered the best division in college football. But the Magnificent Seven, with the exception of Alabama, didn’t scare anyone in 2016.
Auburn, Arkansas and Texas A&M all lost their bowl games, and Mississippi State blocked a late field-goal attempt to escape with a onepoint victory over Miami of Ohio. Nothing to brag about, for sure.
Still, LSU appears to be on the upswing, and Auburn will be much better at quarterback in 2017 with the arrival of Jarrett Stidham, a transfer who showed plenty of ability as a freshman at Baylor. That’ll leave a big gap with Arkansas, Texas A&M, Mississippi State and Ole Miss to decide the No. 4 through No. 7 positions.
The Floundering Four may be a better description for those teams.
TERRIBLE TERPS
If I had to single out the worst team in the bowl games, and there were plenty of bad ones, Maryland would get my vote.
Maryland threw 20 incomplete passes (with 15 completions), allowed eight sacks, committed 11 penalties for 86 yards and turned the ball over four times in something called the Quick Lanes Bowl in Detroit. To cap it off, Terrapins coach DJ Durkin offered a lame excuse after a 33-30 defeat to Boston College that left Maryland with a 6-7 record for the season.
“We shot ourselves in the foot,” Durkin said. “Can’t win like that.”
No kidding, and Maryland did so while wearing helmets that are supposed to resemble its state flag but look more like a Jackson Pollock painting. The game was so bad and so long I almost changed the channel to watch soap operas with my wife.
I said almost.
Rick Fires can be reached at rfires@nwadg.com or on Twitter@NWARick.