John Daly won his first golf tournament in 13 years on Sunday and the world celebrated with the Big Mullet.
Looking resplendent in his red shirt and American flag pants, Daly (Dardanelle, Arkansas Razorbacks) basked in a champagne shower on the 18th green. True to his career script, Daly's first PGA Tour Champions Title came out of nowhere.
"I just want a Miller Lite," he said. "That's all I want."
And all I want is to join the party, but I can't shake a sense of sadness. It hit home Monday when Daly was on The Dan Patrick Show and recalled an encounter with Tiger Woods at the 2004 Target World Challenge.
After the Wednesday pro-am, Daly was knocking back a few drinks with some buddies in the clubhouse. Woods walked through heading to the workout room, probably for one of his crazed Navy Seal training sessions.
"Man, you don't need to work out," Daly told him. "You need to drink a little bit with us."
"If I had your talent," Woods said, "I'd be doing the same thing you're doing."
I don't know if Daly had more talent, but who am I to argue with Tiger Woods? The greatest winner of modern times was marveling at the ability of a guy who seemingly refused to succeed.
How odd now that at age 51, Daly's on top of the golfing world, even if it's just for a quick drink, while Woods has fallen and cannot get up.
Forgive me, but I can't help thinking of John Greenleaf Whittier's poem, "Maud Muller," (and I swear this is the last time I'll ever quote a poem about a fair maiden and a dashing young man who were smitten with each other but didn't act on their love).
"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"
The fair maiden ended up attacking the man with a steak knife.
No, wait. That was Daly Wife No. 2, or was it No. 4?
It was impossible to keep up with the Life and Times of Wild John Daly, whose battles with women, booze, gambling, calories and just about every other demon that kept him from harnessing arguably the greatest golf ability God ever put into one man's body.
When that talent flares like it did in winning the Insperity Invitational in Houston on Sunday, so does the sadness. I can't help thinking what a rivalry Woods and Daly could have had, and what it would have meant for golf.
Woods burst on the scene and supercharged the sport in the mid-1990s, but Daly was one step ahead of him. His debut was at the 1991 PGA Championship, when the unknown from Dardanelle got a last-second entry, borrowed Nick Price's caddy and bombed his way to the title.
Like Tiger, his appeal crossed over to the masses. Daly was Everyman, just a blue collar guy in a starched-shirt world who could knock a ball into the next county.
Woods vs. Daly could have been like Magic vs. Bird, if Bird had shot free throws with a cigarette dangling from his lips. Tiger certainly held up his end of the deal, while Daly's life became a blur of booze, wives, a longshot British Open win, suspensions, thrown clubs, Doritos, suicidal tendencies, blackjack, rehab, relapses, sponsor's exemptions, more suspensions, more booze, more rehab, more blackjack.
But whenever Daly got near the top of leaderboard, TV ratings spiked as people gathered to see what the wild man might do.
He zoomed past his Ninth Life about 10,000 beers ago. As frustrating as it was to watch, you couldn't help but like the big lug. Daly was always painfully honest about his failings, and nobody suffered more for them.
His prime was squandered, but the over-50 tour offered a last chance at something. Redemption was long gone, but maybe that talent could still give us some thrills.
Sure enough, Daly led the tour in driving distance but hadn't come close to winning. Then it all came together Sunday with a one-shot victory.
It got more attention than any golf tournament since the Masters. After congratulating Emmanuel Macron for winning the French presidency, Donald Trump tweeted congratulations to Daly for winning the Insperity.
It was Daly's first since the Buick Invitational in 2004, the same year he asked Woods to join him for that drink.
If only Mr. Obsessive could have relaxed a bit more often, he might not be 41 going on 81. But more so, if only Daly could have had 1/100th of Tiger's discipline, he might not be just happy to be alive.
As Woods proceeded to his workout that day, Daly shook his head.
"I'm looking at him thinking, 'You're crazy, man.' "
And now Woods is probably like a lot of us. Hoisting a Miller Lite to celebrate Daly's victory while trying not to cry in his beer over what might have been.
Sports on 05/11/2017